Home > News and stories > “Family Fund gifted me 15 minutes to myself, every evening”

Derion is wearing a coat with a furry hood, and is smiling with a closed mouth at the camera. He has dark skin and black, freshly cut hair.

“Family Fund gifted me 15 minutes to myself, every evening”

Derion is 12 years old and lives in South London with his mum Ryanne and his older sister Shantai. His mum Ryanne shares his story.

Tell us about Derion

“Derion absolutely loves anything physical. He enjoys football and he’s getting into basketball too. He’s an Arsenal supporter and a great goalkeeper. He likes anything outdoor based, as long as there are not too many people around. Derion has autism, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and communication/language disorder, so he finds social situations overwhelming.”

How does this impact Derion, and your family life?

“Derion is verbal, but can struggle to regulate and communicate his feelings and emotions. Derion is very particular about things, like who touches what he touches, and his routine. He finds it frustrating that he can’t articulate himself.

“Derion expects everyone around him to understand what he’s trying to say, and will say, “Mum, I get confused and I don’t know how to say it or what to say”. It must be so frustrating for him, and sometimes he can physically hurt people.”

Shantai is now old enough to be working, so she is able to buy herself things like trainers. Derion sees this and finds it hard to understand that just because Shantai can afford something, doesn’t mean I can buy the same for him.

Shantai and Derion are next to a dining table, in a room decorated with birthday banners and balloons. Derion is wearing red, looking at the camera. Shantai has her arms around Derion.

As a parent of a child with a disability, I often feel isolated and misunderstood. Friends invite you to different places with their children, and I have to say no every time, knowing it would be too much for Derion. Eventually, people stop asking altogether. It can be lonely.”

Are you able to work?

“Because of Derion’s needs and how often I’ll get calls from the school, I can only work around 10 hours per week. My first job is to be a mum, always. Everything else comes second. But I absolutely love the time I spend at work. I’m a meal supervisor at a primary school, and for a couple of hours a day, there are no pressures on me. I’m not mum when I’m working, I’m Ryanne.

There are physically only so many hours in a day that I can work. There’s this belief that if you’re working, you should be able to afford things that your children want. Sometimes I feel helpless. What’s the point in me working if I can’t even buy my child a trampoline?”

How has Family Fund helped you?

“We found out about Family Fund, and over time have applied for a trampoline, contribution towards a PlayStation and a shed.

“Derion uses his trampoline every single day, rain or shine. He spends at least an hour on there, getting all his energy out. It’s especially helpful when he’s finding it hard to regulate, or he’s irritated.”

“Because Derion can hurt himself, I need to watch him all the time. The shed gives us a place to store Derion’s toys and balls so he doesn’t have to worry about anyone touching them.

“The PlayStation has been incredible. Derion has social anxiety and doesn’t know how to make friends, but watching him communicate with strangers over the headset is amazing. And as his mum, I know that I have at least 15 minutes where I know he is safe and distracted. I often use this time to have a bubble bath. I know most people might think that it’s just a PlayStation, just a shed or just a trampoline. But to me, these things are heaven-sent.”