“It’s not nice to see your child isolated and left out”
Mum Emma has a six-year-old, Cody, who is on the pathway for an autism diagnosis, and goes to a mainstream school with the support of a one-to-one teaching assistant.
“He’s such a loving, affectionate, bright, and knowledgeable boy but Cody finds socialising and trying to make friends really difficult. He lacks the social skills.
“We’re not really ever invited to birthday parties. We may get an invite once or twice a year. The hard thing is when he sees a child giving out invitations and he doesn’t get one. It happens a lot, and then they talk about the party and it makes him feel so left out. It hurts. As a parent, it’s not nice to see your child isolated and I don’t get to spend the time with other mums.
“I do understand other parents might feel like they don’t know how to deal with difficult behaviour if they invited Cody, which is fair enough, but I’m always happy to be there. It just means children like mine don’t get included.”
Emma is not alone: In fact, 83% of families Family Fund support say they feel sad, left out and frustrated because only 12% of disabled or seriously ill children are able to take part in the social activities they’d like to.
New research commissioned by Family Fund and McCain revealed that three quarters of families raising disabled children felt that people avoid inviting their child along to social occasions because they don’t know how to act around them.
Making a difference
Emma says, “There’s another parent at school who is so understanding. She said to someone the other day, ‘Cody isn’t being naughty, he just works differently’ and just having someone else there to stand alongside me was really important.
“Cody also has a best friend and his mum always goes the extra mile to make sure he feels included with everything. They have some other friends whose children have disabilities, so they understand.
“It’s been really tough but Cody has about six friends in school now, so that’s a positive. I wish people would just put themselves in his position and think how it would feel for a six-year-old. It’s hard to find people in a similar situation who understand.”