Logan is 19 months younger than Bella and he'll often announce that 'Bella is my sister' or 'I am Bella's brother.' Never has he said 'I am Bella's sibling.' I think when talking about said siblings that people need to remember that they are people, brothers and sisters and not just a disabled person’s sibling. 

I always consider Logan to be the 'sibling' in our pair but in reality I guess they could both be considered as such. Both are on the autism spectrum however Bella's difficulties are just much more obvious and tend to take priority even unintentionally. 

Logan is four now and has never asked why his sister doesn't talk to him, why she doesn't play with him or why she still uses a buggy at almost six year old. He totally, 100% accepts her as she is without question. It's really lovely when you think about it. Don't get me wrong he has got upset when she's hit him or taken his toys away with no sign of remorse and he has in reaction demanded I 'make her say sorry.' He knows this isn't possible as well as I do, I also know when she's slapped me around the face I wish she'd say sorry or even acknowledge the wrong doing.

These moments pass and in the moments when she 'sees' him and reacts to his silly game he laps up the attention. It doesn't last long but I think it keeps him going. They have a strange relationship really, they share a bunk bed yet really live parallel lives along side each other sometimes meeting only to fight over a toy or who mummy will carry.

Maybe one day I'll feel sad about their somewhat distant relationship but not until one or the other shows to effected by it. Right now this is "normal" Logan is Bella's big, little brother and I imagine it'll stay like that for a while.

Lauren is a single mum of two children, both on the autism spectrum. She writes at Woman With Baby and runs The Square Peg Foundation