Time slips by me all of the time, pardon the pun.

As a mum, time is a pain in the bum. Having a daughter who has Attention Deficit Disorder brings its own challenges in relation to time. Co-occurring conditions such as anxiety and obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) means that most of my waking hours are spent trying to keep her calm and collected. With such a rigid routine that can easily cause anger and upset if disturbed I am very often counting down the minutes to the start of school when I can drop her of and then have a few hours routine free where I don’t feel the need to walk on egg shells and I can do what I want, in any order that I want. 

Saying that, routines can be helpful within a family, it’s just normally you wouldn’t expect your child to feel the world has dropped or a bomb has detonated. As a family of six and as a mum I have to maintain a routine in the mornings and at bedtime otherwise no one would ever leave the house on time, given the choice my children would stay up all night. But why do these simple routines have to take so long?

I often find myself losing my patience especially at bedtime when the kids won’t just go to bed and then by the time they are asleep it’s too late to sit down with a cuppa and just relax. I have often run out of time for chores and there’s half finished jobs all around me. I am not a naturally disorganised person but the lack of time makes me seem like one. I am that mum running to the car screaming for the kids to just get in any seat so we can go as we are running late. Why when there are four children and six seats can they never just get in, why do they waste another five minutes with me revving the engine arguing who is sitting where for a five minute journey?

I also very often feel that I am counting down the weeks, months waiting for the next appointment to come around. With three children with various disabilities and needs I am attending hospital appointments on average twice a month. Its these appointments that seem to suck out great swathes of time in one go with appointment’s lasting anywhere between one to three hours and then when you add the waiting time - don’t get me started on waiting times!!! And the travel time, what usually starts as an early morning appointment actually takes nearly a whole morning or sometimes a day. I’m in my early 30’s and I have been doing this now for 12 years, yes I am in for the long haul but I dread to think if I added it all up how long I have spent at the hospital. I often joke I should have my own personal car space there now. 

Do I get time for myself? I try, isn’t that what we all say? Its hard as a mum to have time to ourselves I feel guilt at being away from my children, I am their mum, their carer. I do, and go everywhere for them, I attend every appointment; I hold their hands when they are scared. I am their mum and it’s my job, but we do need to take time for ourselves. I learnt that the hard way, we are no good if we are burnt out with exhaustion. Take baby steps, a five minute walk, a dance around the kitchen, a girls night out, even a weekend away so you can recharge your own batteries. 

Yes I resent the disabilities my children and husband have, and that time is always such a big part of my day but the wonderful young people that my daughters are growing into couldn’t make me prouder. I know that they appreciate all that I do on some level especially when they bring me that cup of coffee.

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