In honor of our beautiful babes coming into the world people love to celebrate and announce to friends, family and the whole world how proud we are of them, how much we love them, and the bigger the celebration the better.

Well maybe not in all cases, especially if your child is on the spectrum.

Big celebrations can be a complete sensory overload; all plans of making it the best day ever get thrown to the wind. It can turn out to be quite stressful and overall a frustrating, tiring, and pretty sad state of affairs. No fun for anyone, least not the birthday child, who, after all, is the one we are celebrating. Therefore it makes perfect sense to cater for their needs (within reason) as to how they'd like the day to be. Not forgetting that even THAT can be a risk, incase it doesn't feel, look, taste, sound like they imagine, then look out for another potential meltdown.

The amount of times I've got it so completely wrong!

On his ninth birthday, I took them all to Butlin’s. It was his first birthday without his Dad around. Go big I thought. I packed in every activity, every treat going and to finish it off I'd booked a celebration dinner with a surprise rendition of "Happy Birthday" sang by the entire restaurant with him standing on a chair! (At this point he'd not had an ASD diagnosis). As you can imagine, he went into complete overload. To this day, he describes it being the worst birthday ever! Luckily we also have some very happy memories of that trip to talk about whenever the subject comes up!

This year, we celebrated his 14th Birthday. He's becoming a young man; hormones and testosterone galore. Add to that his autism and we have a mixed bag of emotions, emotions that he usually can't handle. This birthday was pretty chilled though. He had his present a day early, as he could not stand the wait! He asked for Dunkin Donuts for breakfast, a trip to his favourite game store and spent the rest of the day playing, HAPPILY with his sisters. Nothing out of the ordinary, but it was his choice. We've had parties, friends over, day trips and so forth, but I do my best to plan it just as he'd like it.

With no Dad around, no Grandparents popping over, it’s just us. Me and my (no so little) babies. Who can ask for more?

Jane is a new Family Fund blogger, she has been a single parent for six years. She has three children, it was clear that her son was in need of great support & the long journey of numerous assessments began. He was diagnosed with Autism in April 2016. Read more of Jane's blogs at - www.coffeeandglow.co.uk