Every single day I have to be somewhere...

I often have to be at hospital. 

Too many clinics, too many appointments and way too many waiting rooms. I have to be on time, be able to entertain my child, be able to listen to what the specialist is saying. The preparing my child, the travel, the parking, the waiting and the travel back all takes up so much time. Sometimes that time is when my child should be at school, or we could be having family time or even times when we should be eating. It is necessary and important but it can also be hard, oh so hard. 

Then there are times I have to be at my child’s school. 

Those are so much more often than mainstream children. Oh how I wish I was there for just the good times of class assemblies, school shows and award ceremonies. Instead I need to be there for meetings, to sort out issues and sometimes to support my own child when there are no other alternatives. One of my special needs children forgets things and I often have to take down a PE kit, homework that has been forgotten or a missing packed lunch. I have to be in school to fill in forms even for the simplest of creams to be put on my child’s skin and sometimes be there on school trips to enable my child to be included. Of course I am happy to support my children’s education but it can and does take up a lot of time, especially when your child’s school is many miles from home. 

Then there are times I have to be in meetings without my children. 

Oh so many meetings. Meetings in my own home, meetings at schools, meetings in departments and meetings with professionals who hardly know my child at all and yet have authority over them in a professional role. We talk about their struggles, sometimes my struggles, we have referrals and refusals to accept referrals. We get sent on courses and we get refused places on other courses. I have to jump through hoops for basic services and then others have waiting lists so long that the issue reaches crisis before we ever get seen. We talk. So much talking and sometimes so little action. Time I will never get back. 

There are times I have to be nurse. 

There are times I have to be advocate.

There are times I have to be ever so strong. 

There are times I have to be up all night filling in forms and wondering how to word things just to get that wheelchair we need or that benefit we should have. 

There are times I am the fixer, the feeder, the cleaner and the driver. 

There are times I am the therapist.

There are times I am the mender of broken hearts. 

So when do I just get to be mum? When do I get to be me? 

I have to make the most of every second of my time. I have to make waiting in hospitals quality time, I have to sing in the car with my child as I pick them up for the dentists again. I have to laugh with them on the way to school. I have to play with them and snuggle with them at every chance I can. 

I have to be everything to them. The future is not guaranteed. Their independence is not a guarantee. 

So when I sit with my children and we just watch YouTube together, or we read a story or chat later than we should at bedtime... I am not being lazy or ignoring my housework. I am actually finding time, even making time, to just be. 

Time to be together. 

Time to be present.

Time to be their mum. 

There is never enough of that time. It is that time that they will remember though, regardless what life throws at them. 

Every single day I have to be somewhere. Today that somewhere is right where I am, being mum to my beautiful and precious children. 

Make sure you find time to just be today. 

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