When you are pregnant you plan the oh so special nursery. Cot, matching curtains, bedding, the works! Then the baby comes along and usually sleeps in your room anyway. 

At six months Z was put into his own room. At one year old he started climbing out of his cot so we lowered it to the toddler bed. I never lay with him, I wasn’t starting that, and I didn’t let him fall asleep behind me. I would put him to bed, say ‘Goodnight’ and shut the baby gate. 

I knew deep down Z had autism from being a small baby. When he wouldn’t sleep, we’d play Olly Murs and he’d fall asleep. 

The combination of autism and sleep is huge, especially as he doesn’t do any sleeping, so his bedroom is really important. Removing everything from his room would be ideal, but in my house it’s not possible. So we took things off display and put them in boxes but they are still in his room. He then pulls everything out. 

Every tsum tsum is over the floor, mix in some letters and numbers, add some coats he refuses to keep on the hangers, then finish it all off with some Mickey and Minnie soft toys. If your very lucky you may find some Pringles in there too. It’s a total mess.

Yes, I clean, I hoover the Pringles, I box all the toys away, I put the tsum tsums in a bag and hang the coats back up. By 3.50pm we are in the same state again (minus the Pringles). 

He thrives on mess. 

At night I’ll try and clear a path knowing that he will jump and run at 3am, and I don’t want him to get hurt. As soon as I leave the room, I hear a thump and he’s jumping out of bed and covering that patch back up. Not once at 3am, in the dark, half asleep, has he ever stood on anything. How he does it I don’t know. Me moving things out of the way is like changing that picture in his mind and they have to go back. 

I suppose he’s like; ‘This is my room, that’s the way I like it’. I can leave the toys; but I don’t like the clothes on the floor and I have to hoover the Pringles up. But undoubtedly, he gets back and messes it up. I can see why he gets frustrated! He just loves to be surrounded by mess.